Word from the Mouth: The First of the Worst! edition

Wednesday, July 24th Kevin Kousaie

What a weekend for Playoffs! Weather was great, a bit windy, but for the people who are at the field all day, I mean me, it was nice. We had loads of games that came right down to the end and even a few surprises.

My plan was to take Friday off and play NCAA all day and night, but I had to work and stupid Nick (ed’s note: famously the second worst of the Kousaie’s) was playing it all day and into the night. I then needed to wait until Sunday when my significant other spends the day with her other man and 1 of her 6 kids to get on the game (ed’s note: we’ve entered into a place I dare not tread).

I faced a tougher choice in the game with what team to go with than going for 2 on the last play to win the game and advance to the next round.

After a long sweltering day at Brossard, I was able to get 2 games in going 2-0 with the Ragging (ed’s note: leaving it in!) Cajuns from Louisiana. I would have rather been 0-2 in the game and 2-0 on the weekend, but sometimes the refs just screw you and that’s not necessarily the case here (ed’s note: I feel like we are witnessing a complete mental break). I know everyone always blames the refs for their mistakes, so I figured its time I do the same.

No, really, the refs do the best they can. We’re not professionals and even if we were, they make mistakes as well and get to have replay to help them make their calls and we don’t.

Playoff Recaps

Division 3

Phoenix vs Bines (19-20)

This was a game of missed opportunities for Phoenix and the start of what should have been a long playoff run. Phoenix started with the ball being the lower seed and it didn’t take long for Alec to beat them deep down the sideline for a 27-yard TD on fourth down. JF then found Thomas wide open down the middle of the field for a 32-yard TD to tie it up. After the game starting with fireworks it cooled off and both team’s defense settled in. Bines grabbed a 7-point lead when JF found Mathieu for the 7-yard TD and the 1-point convert. With time left in the half Phoenix was able to get the ball all the way down to the 1-yard line before a penalty pushed them back and they weren’t able to score before the half expired. At half, Bines were up 13-6. Second half was controlled by Phoenix as their defense stepped up and got the ball back for the offense. With 3 minutes left, Phoenix scored to make it 19-13 when Nick scored his second TD of the game, but the bigger and more important play was the out from JF in the slot that pushed the defender off the goal line and allowed him to make his break and have green grass all around him. This put Phoenix up 6. With the game on the line and it being fourth down and 4, JF hit Simon on a quick slant to gain 5 yards and a first down. Bines scored on a 13 yard play to Mathieu, but failed on the convert and this left 24 second and we went to OT. In OT Phoenix started on offense, failed, then Bines failed before Thomas came down with what was the winner. Phoenix went for 2 and the win, and on the play it looked as if Josh was going to come down with the ball, but a little bump forced the ball a little loose and his momentum forced him out of bounds. Game over, Bines moved on to round 2.

Division 4

Bandits vs Sour Peeps (12-18)

Jocelyn was out this week for Sour Peeps and Tristan Bigonesse filled in. Bandits started with the ball and it didn’t take long for Lambert to make an impact as he got a sack and this forced a punt. Tristan came out early to warm up and looked good throwing the ball against no defenders, but now that there was a defense, on his first pass Emmanuel picked it off and scored giving Bandits a 6-0 lead. It took Tristan 2 drives before he was able to get those points back and he did it when he saw Simon streaking down the sidelines for a 26-yard TD. We head to half with it being 6 all. In the second half Lambert started to rack up the sacks, totaling 5 in the game, but also preventing any passes in the middle and only allowing time for short passes. Sour Peeps opened the second half with 2 long drives capped off with Benji scoring on both drives. With 11 minutes left and being up 2 scores, Sour Peeps played defense and made Bandits work for every inch. Yes, Bandits did score to make it a 1 score game, but they didn’t have enough time to get the ball back.

Bouchers vs 100 Genies (37-27)

Before this game started, I was hoping to play Bouchers because of the matchups, but once I saw what 100 Genies were doing and who they had I was really hoping to play them. For example, how do you have the top rusher in the division and have him start on the bench when you’re on defense? Then on offense most passes were deep when the wind was taking all the balls out of bounds. Baby Maynard had a great game with 9 catches, 100 yards, and 2 TDs and Felix also made big plays getting 2 picks on defense. The score was 25-13 at half for Bouchers and they looked to be running away with it, then the second half started, and 100 Genies got rolling. They scored on their first 2 possessions of the second half to go up 27-25. The way the game was going you figured that Bouchers were finished. Well they responded quickly to being down to score and go up 31-27. Gabriel tried to get it back for Genies, but 3 straight incompletes forced a punt and gave Bouchers the ball with little clock left in the game.

Bouchers vs Phoenix (19-18)

I wont talk long about what happened in this game because Bouchers did what no one ever expected them to do and that was control the clock and keep the ball away from Phoenix. Phoenix had issued all day with timing and that caused a bunch of issues on offense. Phoenix also came in with the number 1 defense and yes, they only gave up 19 points, but they weren’t able to get off the field. Baby Maynard had 9 catches for 55 yards and Felix had 6 catches for 50 yards and 2 TDs. Bouchers came out with a plan of spreading the ball and by doing this it prevented Phoenix from keying in on certain players and taking them out of the game. Late in the game Phoenix drove down to score on the last play of the game to set up a game winning convert. On the convert I threw a corner to Nick, but it was a bit too far for Nick’s out reached arms and even with his diving effort he still couldn’t bring it in for the win.

Division 5

Titans vs Slot Machines (12-41)

Even without their starting QB Slot Machine put up 41 points. This was a close game in the first half as Robert was able to find holes in the Slot Machines defense and score 2 first half TDs. With the first half being a 13-12 score for Slot Machines, the second half is where the game got away from Titans. Robert allowed Marie-Ève Beaucher to take over the game as a rusher. She sacked him 6 times, all because he wanted to hold the ball and look for the big plays. The game was close and might have stayed that way, but Titans changed the plan and cost them any shot at moving onto round 2.

Women’s

Mockingjays vs Crazy B’s (12-19)

Zuzana Sichova, this woman tried to carry her team into round 2, but fell a bit short. I say she tried because she did a bit of everything for Mockingjays. Not only is she their QB, but she is also their leader on defense racking up 9 tackles, 1 sack, and 1 pick which she scored on. The one thing I did notice is the Crazy B’s have the height to win every jump ball with Anna-Belle Paquin Martinez who scored both offensive TDs for Crazy B’s. Both teams had subs in this game Roxane on Crazy B’s and Kayla on Mockingjays. Kayla looks like she won the sub matchup grabbing 7 balls for 45 yards and a pick, except Roxanne had a pick as well and she scored on hers and that was the difference in the game.

That’s all I have for this week in way of recaps. You can look for Terry and Willie on MFL total Access on Wednesday, I want to say morning, but it could be in the afternoon.

Studs & Duds

It’s playoffs so that means you better have won your game or games, because I’m not putting any losers up here even if you did ball the Rainbow Brite out and put-up crazy numbers. It’s playoffs and it’s all about moving on. Now let’s see who I ended up picking for round 1 of the playoffs.

Studs

Division 3

- Michael Tola Denis 5 sacks.

Division 4

- Lambert Paquette 9 sacks in 2 games and how many PDs.

Division 5

- Marie-Ève Beaucher 6 sacks on her first day ever as a rusher.

Women’s

- Anna-Belle Paquin Martinez 2 catches 2 TDs.

Duds

Division 3

- Red Cats defense for giving this up to Mike Jasenovic 6 catches 74 yards and 1 TD.

Division 4

- Mimosa Crew for going on vacation and not having a complete team. The players that did show up, you put up a great fight.

Division 5

- JF 5 picks thrown.

Women’s

- Zuzana Sichova too many passes inside when the WR were left all alone.

Those are you round 1 winners and losers.

Predictions and Power Rankings Week 11

Friday, July 19th Kevin Kousaie

Predictions

For this season not only did I make the Coin quit at the halfway point (ed’s note: Kevin’s greatest achievement to date! Shots fired, Nick!), but because everyone didn’t put their picks in a I also won the Media survivor pool.

Before I get to this week’s picks, let me tell you I went 20-7 last week. I know it’s not perfect, but I’ll take it. Now to see who I have picked for the playoffs round 1 and like always my picks are in bold.

Division 3

Villains vs Double Dippers

Phoenix vs Bines NA

Tigres vs Horde

Sooners vs Red Cats

Division 4

Villains vs CIA

Bandits vs Sour Peeps

Mustard Tigers vs Tropic Thunder

Mimosa Crew vs Action Squad

Bouchers vs 100 Genies

Hawks vs Bear Hood

Division 5

Titans vs Slot Machines

Secret Agents vs Nothing But D

Soonies vs Slicks

Binettes vs Big Booties

Women’s

Mockingjays vs Crazy B’s

I won’t pick round 2 for D4 since it is all up in the air at this point. I could also go ahead and give you every possible match up, but that would be really long and Jon would just edit it out. (ed’s note: I’m considering editing out that sentence just for a demonstration of power!)

Power Rankings

At this point of the year no one cares where I have you ranked. All that matters is that your team is playing this week with a chance to move on and play next week.

All-Stars

I’m going to tell you what it took to make my teams. For starters, it’s based off the top division you play in unless you play a different position, you can also only make it on 1 side of the ball, and finally it’s all based off stats. For my defense I went with a standard 3-2 base alignment.

Division 1

Offense

QB- Simon Blais

WR 1- Ashton Thibault

Slot 1- Marvin Steinberg

Center- Devin Daoust

Slot 2- Andrew Grant

WR 2- Gabriel Boucher

Defense

Rusher- Chris Uzelac

CB 1- James Colley

Middle- Dilan Daoust

CB 2- Jeremy Rooney

Safety 1- William Power

Safety 2- Manuel Allard-Roy

Division 2

Offense

QB- Jonathan Plourde

Defense

Rusher- Zachary Lemaire

Because D1 and D2 have almost all the same players in them I decided that I’d only do the 2 positions that my picks didn’t play in D1 as well.

Division 3

Offense

QB- Simon Valiquette

WR 1- David St Jean

Slot 1- Joshua Hernández

Center- Oliver Quinn

Slot 2- Thomas Cote-Parent

WR 2- Mason Miller

Defense

Rusher- Xavi Borbolla

CB 1- Cesar Garcia

Middle- Jason McAleer

CB 2- Jean-François Lawrence

Safety 1- Guillaume Renaud-Dumoulin

Safety 2- Kris Hope

Division 4

Offense

QB- Louis Vranderick

WR 1- Eliott Bourque

Slot 1- Thomas Znoj

Center- Michael Halevy

Slot 2- Antoine Bussieres

WR 2- Louis Britton

Defense

Rusher- Othmane Karamat

CB 1- Thibault Varin

Middle- Gary McMahon

CB 2- Jose Milien

Safety 1- Jonathan Cloutier

Safety 2- Gabriel Mercier

Division 5

Offense

QB- Giovanni Antonacci

WR 1- Marcel Jovani

Slot 1- Hugo Stien

Center- Perry Njie

Slot 2- Yavar Ashrafi

WR 2- Austin McMahon

Defense

Rusher- David Castro Arellano

CB 1- Frederick Tobin

Middle- Marie Nielsen

CB 2- Scott Fulton

Safety 1- Kyle Martel

Safety 2- Eric Namts

Women’s

Offense

QB- Viviane Plourde

WR 1- Daphné Maurais

Slot 1- Tabitha Thomas

Center- Charlotte St-Pierre

Slot 2- Sabrina Renaud

WR 2- Saory Judith

Defense

Rusher- Rochelle Bethelmy

CB 1- Daniela Gomez

Middle- Zuzana Sichova

CB 2- Emma Sinclair

Safety 1- Élisabeth Pelland

Safety 2- Sabrina Renaud

Those are my spring 2024 All-Stars. I know most of you feel you’re stars, but if you didn’t see your name up here you might be lying to yourself and that’s not a good thing. Or better yet, take the Cowboys approach and remember next season is your season.

Final Thoughts

If you don’t know what’s happening Friday, then where have you been these last few weeks? This will be the first time since the MFL started that NCAA football is coming out and boy I can’t wait. I’m rebuilding the PAC12 and making it an elite conference, think SEC but only better. I know what conference I’m going with I just have to pick a team. I’m thinking to do the unspeakable and start my career at Vanderbilt and win the SEC year 1. I have also though about winning the Heisman with a kid that goes to Wisconsin and played Bantam and Midget with Nick. I know they very rarely give it to a defensive player, but I’m going to lead the nation with double digit picks and might add a few sacks just to pad those stats. (ed’s note: this is important information, people!)

There is a chance I’m exhausted on Saturday, but one thing you can count on is that I make sure everything is done and on time. Please check the schedule and make sure you know what time your games are at and this week all the games are being played at Le Ber.

Last thing before I let you go, even though we are in the playoffs, take it easy as we are playing a game so have fun.

Word from the Mouth: 28-3 Defeats Phoenix! edition

Tuesday, July 16th Kevin Kousaie

The final whistle of the season has been blown and now we get to see some playoff football.

After weeks of playing at Darcy McGee and Arthur Therrien, we get to go back to our old stomping ground over at Le Ber and no one is happier than Willie. Yup, Willie will be eating pizza all day to make up for those lost weeks.

It’s been torture the last few weeks with the gosh darned heat and this weekend doesn’t seem to be much better, but it is only Monday and this turkey weather will change between now and then. I’m so burnt out from this heat, I can’t even put words to screen at this point, so Ill just jump into my recap for the week, which is just a rundown of D4 since that’s where I spent most of my day.

Recap

D1

Missed the 1 game being played.

Division 2

Missed out once again on a few exciting games.

Division 3

Phoenix vs Bines (13-39)

Ok, let me start by pointing out this was the last game of the day and we knew what needed to be done to get what we wanted in the playoffs. This game started with Bines scoring with ease from 33 yards out by David. Phoenix responded with a 31 yards TD to Justin with big scores from both teams, it looked like we might get a shootout. With their next drive, JF decided to show he could work the field and ate 7:30 off the clock while running 11 plays to score again. This is where I made a boo boo and cost Phoenix the game. To open the drive, I ran a play (ed’s note: bold strategy!) and on second down I thought the same route combination was going to be open on the other side, but it wasn’t. Albert and Simon switched what they were doing and because I stared the play down, it made an easy pick for Albert that he thought he was scoring on, but he got flagged on the 1. After Bines scored to make it a 20-7 game, I was thinking its OK we will go down score and get the ball to start the second half. That was all true except I left 27 seconds on the clock, which was enough time for Bines to score and put Phoenix over the 21 points so they could move up the rankings. At this point, the score was 27-13 Bines and with the second half underway I was trying different things, knowing it wouldn’t have any influence on the standings unless we gave up 58 points. Second half was a wash and didn’t matter for either team. (ed’s note: classic loser talk)

Division 4

Phoenix vs 28-3 (18-19)

This game was a shame as Phoenix had nothing to play for except beer that Nico pushed back until next season. Everyone knew nothing was on the line for us and when we went down and scored on our opening drive, in my head I was like this is easy and then 28-3 started to move the ball and make a few plays and before I knew it, they held a 19-6 lead with under 16 minutes left. After trading picks, Phoenix got back on track and scored on a 7 yard catch and run from Dave to cut the lead. Phoenix then forced a punt to get the ball back with under 8 minutes. This was a complete Vince drive, knowing I needed to get down and score but have time if we didn’t get the convert to get ball back. Vince scored his second TD of the game with 3:17 left. Time to play defense and get a stop to have a chance at it. When Nico ran for 7 yards to start the drive, it was a matter of letting clock run and allowing a first down on the next play then hope for a stop and use timeouts. That’s what we did, and we were able to get the ball back, but on the last play of the game Nico knocked the ball out of the air to get the win for 28-3.

Improbables vs Bandits (13-32)

Winner gets into playoffs and loser gets to stay home on Saturday and play NCAA 25 all day. Emmanuel put up a nice stat line going 13 of 19 for 129 yards with 3 TDs and 1 pick. What really helped Bandits win was their defense, Julian had 2 sacks and Franky and JP combined for 3 picks with each returning 1 for a TD. It also helped that they were able to double dip, meaning score before half and score to start the second half as well. This made the score 20-7 Bandits. As for Improbables, they didn’t go down without a fight. Mat did what he could and had it not been for those pick 6s the game was close. The game started to change in favor of Improbables when Nico started to rush for them. He got there fast with his hands up and ready to rack up a few sacks, two to be exact.

Drama Club vs FAD (27-24)

FAD has a new QB in Tristan who other than his 1 pick that Simon had and scored on was able to pick apart this Drama Club defense like it was government cheese (ed’s note: I have no idea what this means) as he completed 14 of 27 passes for 162 yards and 4 TDs to 1 pick. Ok, what makes it even worse for Drama Club was all the damage was done by Andre who scored 4 TDs and had 126 yards. An experienced team shouldn’t allow this. When it comes to Drama Club offensively they didn’t look great dropping a few key balls and not taking advantage when they should. What really worked for them, and it might be because FAD doesn’t have enough experience, but Simon was able to run at will and most of the times he ran there was green grass in front of him. I’ll tell you now that if FAD had more experience and knew what to do in key situations, they might have won this game.

Bouchers vs 100 Genies (19-32)

Felix had a monster game this week hauling in 13 passes for 80 yards along with 2 TDs and 1 1-point convert to go with his 3 tackles and 1 pick on defense. Gabriel Mercier was a beast once again throwing 5 TDs, running with power looking to truck a few defenders on his way to gaining 48yards on 5 carries, he also had 1 pick on defense. What makes Gabriel so dangerous is his arm as he can throw it 45 yards on a rope while running and you might think that he can only go deep, well when he goes short the ball is normally on target, it’s just a matter of if his players catch it or not. I don’t remember this, but the stats don’t lie, Clara had 2 picks on defense. Othmane is a force you need to be worried about on both sides of the ball. He collects sacks as if they were cans on the street. This week he was held to none, but made his presence felt scoring a 45-yard bomb to make it a 25-12 game with under 2 in the half. Lukas was able to march the 45 yards to score to make it a 6-point game for 100 Genies at half. Second half was boring no big plays and the only score was Kim from 6 yards out.

Mustard Tigers vs Warriors (30-12)

Let me start by giving a big shout out to Scott who turned 112 last week and looked good. Not only did Brian want to get him involved in the game, he was thinking he might get him his first ever TD. Well Brian ruined it and got Scott 2 TDs and from what Elliot was telling me, Scott hasn’t shut up about his impressive performance and its been 3 days since its happened. Look, at the end of the day Warriors made this a game in the first half because of their defense scoring twice on picks. Then in the second half they made a change at QB, and the backup ended up throwing 4 picks and kept giving Brain and his team a short field. Best play of the game had to be the pick by Olivier who as the rusher picked the quick slant off and was able to walk in for the score since we all know Brian isn’t chasing anyone down. Next season if Warriors come back, they need to pick who will be QB and leave it like that because switching in game doesn’t help anyone out.

Division 5

Missed out once again on a few exciting games.

Women’s

Missed out once again on a few exciting games.

Sorry about missing so many divisions this week. I was passed around so much in D4 this week that I now know (ed’s note: the rest of this sentence is redacted)

Studs & Duds

If you were expecting to see your name on my list this week you better have done something remarkable and stood out from the rest of the players. That or you can take the Hope route and just have senior moment and forget what you are doing temporarily. Yes, Kris, I’m calling you old. Now to see who made my list.

Studs

Division 1

- Alexis Ferrand 8 catches 85 yards, 1 TD, he made 2 tackles and had 2 picks on defense.

Division 2

- Alexandre Vallières 4 TDs and 100 yards on 8 catches.

Division 3

- Lucas Coveyduck 4 TDs on 11 catches for 63 yards.

Division 4

- André-Philippe Bertrand 4 TDs, 126 yar

ds and on defense he had 1 sack and 2 picks as well.

Division 5

- Remi Faugere 5 TD passes no picks and over 150 in the air as well.

Women’s

- Élisabeth Pelland 4 catches 4 TDs, 2 1-point converts with 76 total yards.

Duds

Division 1

- Rob White only getting 1 PD and wearing a shirt all day so his fans aren’t happy about that.

Division 2

- Stephen Harripersaud for monkeying up what could have been perfect game and throwing a pick to start the second half.

Division 3

- Kevin Kousaie for throwing 3 picks and not staying focused on this game and not looking towards next week.

Division 4

- (ed’s note: this was blank for some reason, so I will Kevin Kousaie is the D4 dud for leaving this blank)

Division 5

- Sniffers once again with the forfeit for not showing up.

Women’s

- Drama Club as a team losing 3 straight going into playoffs.

These are the last Studs of the season, but don’t worry, if your team made the playoffs and you ball the Canada goose out you might get to see your name on the list next week. Or you can not show up at all and just phone it in. Either way someone is going to ball out and someone is going to suck balls, who it will be depends on you and your performance.

Predictions and Power Rankings Week 10

Friday, July 12th Kevin Kousaie

Predictions

Now that I am no longer competing against the Coin (ed’s note: the fact that you capitalize its name makes me think Kevin thinks it’s a sentient entity, which should have me more worried than it does) I have moved all my efforts over to the media survivor pool where everyone screwed up and didn’t pick a team last week, except Matt and me. With that happening, I think I win the media picks since they all gave up except Willie who was out weeks ago.

Last week I managed to go 18-10, which isn’t half bad. That means this week is my last chance to get a perfect week, so help me out and like always my picks are in bold.

Division 1

Outlaws vs A-Team

Chiefs vs Iron Wolves

Division 2

Top Shooters vs Pocket Rockets

Respect vs KOLB

Division 3

TDs & Beers vs Red Cats

Villains vs RawSauce

Sooners vs Iron Wolves

Horde vs Thunder Buddies

Double Dippers vs Super Friends

Phoenix vs Bines NA

Division 4

System Urbains vs Sour Peeps

28-3 vs Phoenix NA I don’t pick my games, but I am warning Nico, you better bring the case of 12 when you arrive and none of that light beer crap or you better make it 24 if that’s the case.

Drama Club vs FAD

Improbables vs Bandits

Mimosa Crew vs Warriors

Bouchers vs 100 Genies

Bouchers vs Villains

Mustard Tigers vs Warriors

MTL Cessnas vs CIA Fusion

Hawks vs Bear Hood

Tropic Thunder vs Legendaries

Chiefs vs Action Squad

Division 5

Slot Machines vs Jungle Squad

Nothing But D vs Sniffers

8Ballers vs Secret Agents

Binettes vs 514

Sonnies vs Slicks

Titans vs Big Booties

Women’s

Déesses du Drapeau vs Drama Queen

Crazy B’s vs Mockingjays

Those are my picks for week 11. You can love them or hate them, all I know is that this is my last chance to get all my picks right, so I’ll need a few of you to take the Master Chiefs approach and think about taking the forfeit to help me out. I don’t know if that’s the case or not, I just had a birdie fly by with this info.

Power Rankings

Last week to see if your team is on my list heading into the playoffs. We had loads of meaningful games and a couple even made me make changes to my rankings.

Division 1

#1- Busch Boys

#2- Outlaws

#3- Iron Wolves

Division 2

#1- Respect

#2- KOLB

#3- Top Shooters

Division 3

#1- Red Cats

#2- Double Dippers

#3- Bines

Division 4

Babalis

#1- Phoenix

#2- Cia Fusions

#3- Sour Peeps

Power

#1- Drama Club

#2- Hawks

#3- Tropic Thunder

Division 5

#1- Slot Machines

#2- Nothing But D

#3- Slicks

Women’s

#1- Tigers

#2- Déesses du Drapeau

#3- Drama Queen

That how I have it heading into the last week of play. I can tell you that just because you might be sitting at 1 doesn’t mean that you’re winning it all. You still have to play the games.

Final Thoughts

I grew up in the west (ed’s note: he means the west island. This is “west” to Kevin) and that means having to travel to go downtown and party it up and have a good time. I just need someone to explain why no matter when you go downtown or travel along Deciare is there always gosh darned traffic (ed’s note: it’s called ‘induced demand’. It’s why highways don’t work).

Today (Wednesday) I took my middle child to get her first tattoo and the round trip took 2 hours and 45 minutes, from Saint Jean to Saint Denis. This is root tootin’ ridiculous. (ed’s note: demand better public transportation!) I’m glad I’m old and have a hot chick on my arm and don’t need to go out that way anymore because it sucks big time.

We have made it to the final week of the season and that means you have one week left to help get your team into the playoffs. I want to remind everyone that, yes, it’s the last week and maybe your team really needs that W to make the playoffs, but we are still just playing a game.

So go out have fun and don’t kill anyone, but if you do, you can toss them into the river if you’re at Arthur Therrien or the canal if you’re at Darcy McGee, but we would prefer if you did the right thing and contacted the authorities and let them handle it.

See you all Saturday when my team goes 2-0 and rides high into the playoffs and on their way to a championship or two.

Word from the Mouth: The Lifelong Goal of a 3 Year Old! edition

Wednesday, July 10th Kevin Kousaie

Man, oh man, who knew the season would come to an end so quickly? (ed’s note: literally anyone who can read a calendar or understands how time works?)

Just 1 week left and still so much up in the air.

You got D1 and D2 where all but one team are making the playoffs.

D2 playoffs essentially start this week, with a play in game.

D3 has all 8 teams locked in the playoffs, but seeding won’t be determined until I look at the standing before my 4:30 games against Bines. I will pick who plays who by the outcome of my game. With that being said I can take bribes to help you out. We will take on any and all teams that want a shot at us we aren’t afraid, we’ll climb the ladder and show you what happens when you wake the beast.

D4 has the most teams and has the biggest gap as well. Those top teams are going to be just fine, it’s those bottom teams that I can’t see having much of a shot at it.

When it comes to D5, I have Slot Machines winning it all, unless they screw up (ed’s note: so you have them winning it all, unless they don’t?).

When we started the women’s division, co-ed was the way to go first to attract more women before branching off and getting their own division. It seemed to work out as we got 5 teams in year 1 which is one less (ed’s note: sic) team than the league first started with in 2014 and now we have 61 teams (ed’s note: plus Brossard and soon Laval!). It’s a 3-horse race in the women’s division, but if I had to pick a favorite right now, I’d go with Tigres.

Look, there is still 1 week left and lots can happen, but those teams fighting for your playoffs lives this is your last chance.

Recap

Division 1

A-Team vs Outlaws (6-36)

For a D1 game this was low scoring and not a great statistical game as no receiver had more than 43 yards. That is messed up when you look at who’s on those rosters. After starting with the ball and turning it over on downs, Brady led Outlaws on 4 straight TD drives to end the game. The difference in this game was after Outlaws went up 8-0, Marvin picked off a pass scoring and making it 16-0. Dave was able to lead a long 13 play scoring drive to bring it to within 10. The problem was the defense wasn’t able to get a stop and gave up another score along with the 2-point convert. This put A-Team down 24-6 with under 1 minute, but also getting the ball back to start the second half. On the very last play of the half Dave threw it to the endzone where the ball was caught by Laurent who was called just short of the line, leaving the score 24-6. Second half A-Team struggled to move the ball and Outlaws were able to score when they had the ball to win the game with ease.

Division 2

Pocket Rockets vs Top Shooters (41-46)

How do you lose this game playing 5 vs 6 and one of those 5 is Mike Jaz (ed’s note: it’s because one of those 5 is Mike “The Jazzmaster” Jaz!). Mike, I love you, but you and I both know you shouldn’t be on the field in D2 on defense. Just avoid Marvin when you have the ball and double him on defense, which would have been my plan. Pocket Rockets had other plans and that was letting Marvin beat them with 111 yards, 3 TDs, 2 2-point converts, then had 2 picks and scored on one of them.

Division 3

Phoenix vs TDs & Beers (31-6)

I was expecting a much closer game in this one especially with TDs & Beers needing the win and help to get into playoffs. With 2 weeks off I was a bit rusty to start the game, but on the second drive of the game after each team turned it over, JF went streaking down the middle and was left wide open for the 37-yard TD. After I made that throw, I felt confidant and knew I was going to be able to make plays when I needed to. With that in my head I started to take a few more shots, but the defense stepped up with Alex getting the first pick, followed by Ali making a great play coming from nowhere to pick it off and if he hadn’t Francis was going in for 6 and everyone knew it. The last pick by Phoenix was made by Alexi, but all credit should go to Khalil. I looked right, came back left, Josh had a step and I went to throw it and Khalil raised his hands and instead of a good release I threw that ball so high that it had no chance making to where Josh was and Alexi had an easy pick. Alexi didn’t fare much better under center as he threw 5 picks with 4 of them going to Justin.

Horde vs Phoenix (33-27)

Before the game even started Simon was crying, throwing himself on the ground, and kicking and screaming because we, the home team, elected to wear white for the game and they were forced to wear pinnies. Me being the really nice guy that I am, said OK we will put on our green jerseys. I know you can’t win and really can’t lose a game on the first play, but after how the game turned out, the pick by Pierre-Alexandre was the difference. Of course, Simon punched it in from 4 yards out to go up 6. At half Horde was up 14-6 after scoring to end the half they were looking for that double dip to blow the game wide open. Phoenix’s defense stepped up with Justin get a big PD on fourth down. This was our shot to tie it up we scored and on the convert Francis and Ben got into it a bit and I was hoping to use this later in the game. After trading punts, Justin, instead of knocking one of Simon’s passes away, picked it off and walked in from 5 yards out for the TD putting Phoenix up 21-14. After scoring on their next two possession, they held 27-21 lead with 4:30 left. I was in no hurry with 3 timeouts everything was on the table. After a big play to Alec for 24 yards, I slowed it down trying to milk every second of the clock. Phoenix was able to score and tie it at 27 and on the convert, I was going to run the same play as before, but this time ben was up press on Francis, and I had to go to my second read, but it was high and came down out of bounds. Horde had two plays and the second was a 45-yard pass from Guillaume to Ben where 3 defenders were standing and waiting for the ball, and this allowed Ben to come across the goal line and catch it with his flags in the endzone.

Division 4

Villains vs Sour Peeps (31-6)

Sour Peeps open this game with a great start, Jocelyn went short a few plays, but after getting a first down he went over the top to Lambert who hauled it in for a big gain and after that Jocelyn ran it in for a TD from 6 yards out. After that drive Sour Peeps looked like nothing like themselves, dropping passes, running wrong routes, missing tackles, and blowing coverages. Even with the addition of Will to the Villains team they looked like the same team as the previous few weeks struggling to move the ball and to score. Then the second half started, and Will and his team went off scoring on all 4 of their offensive drives, plus Lucas picked off a pass and scored on it as well. Villains won because they played better on both sided of the ball and, yes, Will playing was huge, but not the reason they won.

Division 5

Binettes vs Secret Agents (21-18)

JF dominated the first half moving the ball up playing defense getting his team a 12-0 lead at halftime. The second half couldn’t have started much worse for Secret Agents who forced a punt, but then gave up a safety. After a turnover Mathieu started to pick away at the lead making it 12-8 before hitting a big one to Mark for 33 yards giving them a 15-12 lead. JF responded with a drive of 5 plays for a score giving them a 18-15 lead with 4:22 left. After having little success, Mathieu passed the ball to Albert who took the pass 33 yards into the redzone where he would score one play later giving Binettes a 3-point lead with 1:30 left, but after getting some yards JF had his pass tipped and picked off by Mark for the second time of the game this time ending the game.

Women’s

Sorry Ladies, I wasn’t scheduled for any of your games this week. Jon and Terry both think me being by the field will distract too many of you and the game will suffer (ed’s note: I mean it would, but not for the reason Kevin is implying). I hope you all understand, but you can always send me a quick message about what went down or who balled out and I’ll give a shout out, unless it’s for Barb.

Studs & Duds

Let me start by saying that if you haven’t seen your name on my list by now, you’re not doing enough or if your goal was to suck all season so your rating won’t be adjusted, then you have done too much up to this point. Now let’s see who the dogs are and who the turd piles are.

Studs

Division 1

- Max Rosenfeld 5 catches for 3 yards, 2 TDs, 2 sacks and 1 pick on defense in his first game.

Division 2

- Jason Edwards scored 2 TDs.

Division 3

- Nestor Chávez II 205 yards and 3 TDs in the air and then 105 yards and 3 TDs on the ground.

Division 4

- Thomas Znoj 17 catches 179 yards, 4 TD and 2 1-point convert. On defense Tom made 2 tackle and had 1 pick.

Division 5

- William Lalumiere 6 catches for 77 yards, 2 TDs and 1 1-point convert plus made 1 tackle on defense.

Women’s

- Paola Olivares for her game 2 performance going 24 of 37 for 249 yards 5 TDs and no picks, she also made a pick on defense.

Duds

Division 1

- David Daoust 9 picks in 2 games.

Division 2

- Pocket Rockets for losing to a team with 5 players on defense.

Division 3

- Alexis Ferrand 5 picks and only completed 40% of your passes.

Division 4

- Jocelyn Ouellette 3 picks and only 7 completions with 3 of those on the opening drive of the game.

Division 5

- Titans for giving up more yards on the ground than through the air.

Women’s

- Roxanne Roy threw 7 picks and only managed to get 10 points up on the board in 2 games.

You have 1 week left to make it or else you might consider your season a failure if you didn’t. I’d love to meet the person whose lifelong goal is to make my list (ed’s note: your list is like 3 years old, so this theoretical person with this “lifelong” wish is, at most, 3). If you’re out there come and see me and we’ll have a chat live on the Podcast. I’m telling you now that if this happens, we want you to send in your questions.

	Teams	GP	W	L	PTS
1	OUT	10	9	1	18
2	IDA	10	8	2	16
3	UNIT	10	6	4	12
4	IW	10	5	5	10
5	KOLB	10	5	5	10
6	RAC	10	4	6	8
7	RAN	10	2	8	4
8	VIL	10	1	9	2