Word from the Mouth: Mega-Fluff Marshmallow Man! edition

Word from the Mouth: Mega-Fluff Marshmallow Man! edition

Kevin Kousaie

Let me start by saying I’m sorry for this article being later than expected. I was off on vacation and didn’t have my laptop with me. I know — shocker — I’m actually apologizing for something! Hey, we all come to our senses eventually.

Being late and still in vacation mode, I’m going to keep this short and sweet (ed’s note: I’m calling it now, neither of those things are true). We’re now 5 weeks into the season, and it has rained every single week. I could tell you that this week looks better, but that would be a fibble-flabble. Right now, it looks warm, but rain is lurking (ed’s note: it’s looking good as of Wednesday!). The one bright side? All games are at Le Ber, and that’s always a treat. If I had to place a bet, it would be that if the sun shows up, so will Willie — with a slice of pizza in hand. Bold prediction? Maybe. But Terry would just snort-giggle at me anyway. (ed’s note: Terry is known to snort-giggle, from time to time)

Recap

 

D1

 

I finally caught some D1 action this week, and wowza, was I ever bamboozled.

 

Iron Wolves vs Idaho Udapimp (20–52)


Brady was cooking — aside from the one throw Kris jumped like a ninja-lemur (ed’s note: well done, ChatGPT) and snatched. Kris’s pick kept points off the board, but Gabs' diving interception was the real snack. It wasn’t Willie’s day. His reads were solid, but his throws had all the zip of a sleepy banana slug. Five different players picked him off — almost six if Brady hadn’t butter-fingered two near-interceptions. Bright spot for Iron Wolves? Jonathan with 11 grabs and 3 sacks. Beast mode.

 

Villains vs Ranceurs (34–14)


No starting QB for Ranceurs? Yikes. They hoped for the best — and kinda got the opposite. They also decided to leave Jeremie, the human skyscraper, completely uncovered. He scored 3 touchdowns on just 4 catches. Catch of the game? Jeremi’s toe-drag-diving snag in the endzone. Still not sure how he pulled that one off. Lucas racked up 5 sacks and turned Nicolas into a wide-eyed raccoon caught in headlights. Ranceurs showed life before halftime with Gio’s pick and score, making it 22–14. But the second half? All Villains.

 

D2

 

Missed the games, folks. My bad. Catch ya next week.

 

 

D3

 

Witching Hour vs Him U (18–40)


Quick version: close game in the first half. Second half? Him U decided to turn on cheat mode. Their defense made magic and the game got out of hand faster than a squirrel on espresso. Still my finals pick.

 

Iron Trollers vs Drama Club

Postponed.

 

 

D4

 

Creaky Knees vs Underdogs (14–26)

Last game of the day, and by then we were all cold, soaked, and dreaming of hot soup. Simon caught everything for Underdogs, keeping the sticks moving. Jocelyn’s legs had defenders doing the slippery-shuffle while his teammates found space. Creaky Knees should’ve run more drag routes, but hey — not their thing.

 

 

D5

 

Improbables vs Phoenix (7–38)

Normally, when two media gremlins face off, we wager something dumb. I offered our first-borns — Nick declined, saying he already owned Matt. Where’d this kid get his sass? Nick didn’t do much on offense (short fields galore), but Matt threw 5 picks — 2 gift-wrapped for an old dude, and 3 where Brenden went full ninja. Brenden even took the last one to the house to end the game — totally not chill. Improbables were missing their coach and Matt’s safety valve, Alex. Not saying it would’ve been a win, but maybe less of a pantsing.

 

 

 

Women’s Division

 

Sorry ladies — missed your games too. I’ll make it up to you.

 

 

Studs & Duds

 

Time to see who brought the heat and who went full flufferdoodle.

 

 

Studs

D1

  • Lucas Guerrera: 5 sacks. Sack master supreme.

D2

  • Conner McAleer: 3 TDs, 1 pick, and D2 Win #1. Boom.

D3

  • Vincent Martel: 5 TDs, 1 pick. Certified baller.

D4

  • Félix Thibert-Valade: Two pick-sixes? Yes please.

D5

  • Yianni Mitsianis: 4 more TDs (now at 13 for the season!) and 2 sacks. Dual-threat mayhem.

Women’s

  • Isabelle Poirier: 6 TD passes. Touchdown queen.

Duds

D1

  • Stephen Harripersaud: 3 picks. That’s a wobble-wobble stat line.

D2

  • Double Dippers: Team effort dud-ery.

D3

  • Jon Evans. No explanation needed. You know why.

D4

  • Rob White: 11 runs for 18 yards. Eep.

D5

  • Brenden Urquhart: Pick-six at the end of a blowout. Rude-ish.

Women’s

  • Kayla Gauthier: Had 5 picks, couldn’t find number 6. Tragic almost.

 

 

With 5 weeks gone, I gotta ask — when’s the weather gonna stop being a soggy diaper? I want to see some wild stats and big performances, but rain keeps raining on our parade. It got so weird I almost made Jon a D3 stud — but then I remembered that’d be a softie move from a mega-fluff marshmallow man. (ed’s note: I like what ChatGPT did here, but I have no idea what that means)

 

Wanna see your name here? Try harder. Or in some cases… try less hard.

Predictions and Power Rankings Week 3

Predictions and Power Rankings Week 3

Kevin Kousaie

Predictions 

Even with the crappy weather and a bunch of you wanting to be unfriendly and not help me out, I still managed to go 22 and 7 on my picks. I plan to do even better this week. Let's jump right to it and see who I have winning this weekend and like always my picks are in bold. 

 

D1

 

Iron Wolves vs Idaho Udapimp 

Villains vs Ranceurs 

KOLB vs Outlaws 

 

D2

 

Nice TDs vs Ducks 

RawSauce vs Fins Up 

Double Dippers vs CIA 

 

D3 

 

F.A.T. Players vs LTC

Hog Riders vs Nomads. 

Iron Trollers vs Thunder Buddies 

Witching Hour vs Him U 

Thunder Buddies vs Hog Riders 

Horde vs LTC

Witching Hour vs Trench Babies 

Drama Club vs Iron Trollers 

 

D4

 

Nothing But D vs Action Squad 

Mustard Tigers vs F.A.T. Players 

Alouettes vs Underdogs 

Beerhood vs Bandits 

Creaky Knees vs Underdogs 

 

D5

 

MTL Cessnas vs Free Agents 3

Dart Throwers and Smokers vs Ledgendaries 

Jungle Squad vs Mimosa Crew 

Improbables vs Phoenix NA 

Wolverines vs MTL Cessnas 

Big Assets vs Wong Dynasty 

514 vs Big Booties 

Ledgendaries vs Pick 6ers 

Spartans vs Titans 

 

Women's 

 

Crazy Bs vs Drama Queen 

Crazy Bs vs Super Nova 

 

There you have it my picks and if you can read, I'm assuming you're on board with my picks and if your team wins and I picked against you, then I'll assume reading isn't your thing.

 

If you need someone to read it to you, I'm sure the league can set up story time for everyone and Willie can read my article to everyone so that you understand my picks and make it happen. Good luck to everyone playing this week.

 

Power Rankings 

 

Now is where you find out if your team did enough to make my list or stay on it in some cases. 

 

D1 (3)

#1- Idaho Udapimp

#2- KOLB

#3- Outlaws

 

D2 (3)

#1- Average Joes

#2- Fins up

#3- Double Dippers 

 

D3 (4)

#1- Him U

#2- Drama Club

#3- Thunder Buddies 

#4- F.A.T. Players

 

D4 (4)

#1- Mustard Tigers

#2- Action Squad

#3- Bouchers 

#4- Bandits 

 

D5 (5)

#1- Dart Throwers and Smokers

#2- Phoenix

#3- Slicks

#4- Pick 6ers

#5- Jungle Squad

 

Women’s (1)

#1- Drama Queen

 

This is how I have it with 4 weeks in the books. I’m starting to see who the better teams are and trying to figure out who my favorite to win it all might be. 

 

Final Thoughts 

 

All I can say is that if it rains again, it must be a record (ed’s note: it’s gonna rain…). I mean in all the years that the MFL has been around, I don’t remember a year that it rained 5 times on a Saturday (ed’s note: neither do I), but this will mark the fifth week in a row with that nonsense falling from the sky.

I know it should get these articles in earlier, but working 50 plus hours a week and 20 on the weekend makes it hard to find time, especially when you have things to do at work now. I'll figure it out and get it in earlier for all you folks needing your MFL news.

 

Last thing before you get back to your busy lives, just remember we are playing a game and it’s for fun, so go enjoy yourself, have fun, and get some exercise. See some of you on Saturday and for the select few on Sundays as well, but only if you're in Laval.

Word from the Mouth: Asking For That GT! edition

Word from the Mouth: Asking For That GT! edition

Kevin Kousaie

Howdy folks, hope you've been enjoying these games in the rain. I know my teams have gotten lucky these last two weeks, playing at 9 a.m. and avoiding the rain—though not the sloppy fields. This week we moved to De La Vérendrye and, well, those who played at 6 p.m. know it wasn’t exactly paradise out there. I’ll say it now: if we don’t start getting nicer weather, all the fields we play on will be toast by season’s end.

And honestly, De La Vérendrye is going to look like Le Ber before the season’s over—except it’s a lot more level. There’s too much soccer going on there during the week for it to hold up. I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens... or maybe I peeked into my crystal ball and that’s what it told me.

 

 

Recaps

 

D1

Well, I missed all three of these games—but really, only one was a real game. The other two were more like a practice, or from what I hear, a Saturday morning fluffernutter walk-through.

 

D2

Like D1, I missed most of these as well. I did catch the end of the Fins Up vs Rejects game, but Willie will tell you all about it on the podcast.

 

D3

Iron Trollers vs Action Squad (33-7)
This was the most relaxed I’ve ever seen Jon in a game—talking, joking, and even smiling while it was going on. Without Gold under center, Action Squad didn’t stand a chance. They dropped too many balls on offense and missed too many tackles on defense.

Lesniak was back at his real position—center. I didn’t mention it last time, but I’ll say now: the only doof-waddle play Iron Trollers had was Lesniak launching the ball way over Jon’s head on the first play of the game. Maybe stick to throwing… or better yet, stay on two feet when you catch a ball.

Once Jon had the ball, he picked apart the defense. Josh was his main target with 7 catches and 3 TDs.

 

Drama Club vs Nomads (39-12)
Another rainy game, another blowout. The big difference here was that Guillaume could still catch the ball—and still make some silly-fluff plays. He had highlight grabs like a one-handed diving catch, but Nico and Kevin were the workhorses, combining for 16 catches, 158 yards, and 4 TDs. That left 10 balls and 98 yards for the rest of the team.

This was never close. Fun fact: both teams were asking for GT almost right from the get-go (ed’s note: what the heck is GT?). We don’t usually do that, but hey, sometimes you give the people what they want.

 

D4

Alouettes vs Creaky Knees (13-12) OT
I thought Rob was going to run away with this one… then the game started, and things went full banana-bonkers.

Alouettes couldn’t keep drives alive thanks to drops. Rob’s legs were the only saving grace. On the Creaky Knees side, Alex was nearly unstoppable—catching everything and finishing with 74 yards and 2 TDs on 7 grabs.

This game went to OT. Alouettes started with the ball and went for 2 for some mysterious fudgebucket reason… didn’t get it. Then Creaky Knees also went for 2 and flubbed it. In Round 2, Creaky Knees went for 2 again, missed, and left it wide open for the Alouettes to go for 1 and the win.

 

Laveurs vs Bandits (6-29)
This wasn’t a game you watched for big plays or fireworks. Les Laveurs are new and had some rookie hiccups. Bright spot: Lucas. If he sticks with it, he’ll be a star. He put up JP-type numbers—11 catches for 50 yards and a score.

Once he learns the hip shuffle and the dos-and-don’ts of flag, watch his yards and TDs double.

Matt played his usual careful short game. His best throw came on 4th-and-short—a deep ball in stride for a score. That approach will work for now, but if he doesn’t mix it up, he might hit a fluffernut wall come playoffs.

 

D5

MTL Cessnas vs Phoenix (6-26)
This was a 5-on-6 game, and the score definitely didn’t reflect what you'd expect. Phoenix had a player stuck at work and another home with a sick kid—no time to grab a sub, so they rolled the dice.

Brendan went bonkers: 3 TDs, 2 picks. But the star of the day? Jordana. Flawless tackling. Zero weak spots to exploit.

With 5, Phoenix needed a plan. The plan: no rusher. Kevin played the middle, spying the QB.

MTL Cessnas could’ve won if they had just run the ball every second play and forced Phoenix to send a rusher. Milan’s improved a lot, and he’ll keep growing.

Biggest turning point? A penalty for inward-pointing flags on 3rd down. Cessnas had a first down, but turned it over two plays later. That play could’ve tied it at 12 before halftime.

After going up 20-6, Brendan got pick #2 and two plays later scored his third TD to seal it.

 

 

That’s it for this week’s recaps. By the time this hits the site, MFL Total Access will be live—so go see what Terry has to say and what Willie totally makes up on the fly.

 

 

Studs & Duds

We survived another soggy weekend of football, and not everyone was at their best. It’s my duty to highlight who brought the thunder and who brought the thud.

 

 

Studs

D1 Brady Ohanessian: 9 TD passes.

D2 Leonidas Aubert: Possibly a record—17 catches in 1 game.

D3 Simon Valiquette: 6 TDs, only 7 incompletions.

D4 Julien Shabazz: 5 catches, 3 for TDs, plus a pick on defense.

D5 Alec Dagenais: 4 TDs and 4 picks.

Women's Isabelle Poirier: 3 TD passes and 1 rushing TD.

 

 

Duds

D1 Guillaume Renaud-Dumoulin: Completed only 34% of his passes. Yeesh.

D2 Benoit Maynard: 1 catch for 2 yards. That’s more “meh” than magic.

D3 Greg D’Alesio: Zero stats? Nada? Zilch? Oof.

D4 Alec De Lafontaine-Jovani: 3 picks and under 75 yards. Oof x2.

D5 Nicolas Cloutier: More picks (7) than completions (5). That’s a stat sandwich no one wants to eat.

Women's Angie Toporowski: 4 picks and a dismal 25% completion rate.

 

 

There you have it—Studs and Duds for Week 4. Congrats to everyone who made the list, especially the Duds. You really earned it. 

Predictions and Power Rankings Week 2

Predictions and Power Rankings Week 2

Kevin Kousaie

Predictions


Everyone said I picked wrong last week and that I flubbered up hard with my picks this week. I went 19-5 in week 2 and 17-5 in week 3 with 2 games that are questionable if they are forfeits or not. Now let's see if I can get less than 5 wrong this week. Here are this week's picks and like always they are in bold.

D1

 

Unit vs Outlaws

Idaho Udapimp vs les Raccoons 

KOLB vs Ranceurs

 

D2

 

Nice TDs vs RawSauce 

Ducks vs Rejects 

Average Joe's vs CIA 

Rejects vs Fins Up

 

D3

 

Witching Hour vs Thunder Buddies 

Iron Trollers vs Action Squad 

F.A.T. Players vs Him U 

Iron Trollers vs Tropic Thunder 

Horde vs Trench Babies 

F.A.T. Players vs Hog Riders

Drama Club vs Nomads 

 

D4

 

Bandits vs Bouchers 

Nothing But D vs Underdogs

Alouettes vs Creeky Knees 

Laveurs vs Bandits

Action Squad vs Beerhood

Spartans vs Mustard Tigers 

 

D5

 

Dart Throwers and Smokers vs Orphans 

Jungle Squad vs 514

Phoenix vs MTL Cessnas NA

Mimosa Crew vs Improbables 2.0

Wong Dynasty vs Slicks 

Big Assets vs Spartans 

Free Agents 3 vs Ledgendaries 

Pick 6ers vs Titans 

Wolverines vs Jungle Squad 

 

Women's 

 

Crazy Bs vs Drama Queen


There you have it, my picks for week 3. I hope that those teams that bamboozled me last week don’t bamboozle me again. And yes Gold, I did pick against you, but I figured that you and your team could use some motivational sprinkles.

Power Rankings


With 2 weeks in the books, it’s time to see how things are looking—or how I see the rankings.

D1 (3)
#1- Outlaws
#2- KOLB
#3- Idaho Udapimp

D2 (3)
#1- Average Joes
#2- Fins up
#3- Rejects

D3 (4)
#1- Him U
#2- Witching Hour
#3- Drama Club
#4- F.A.T. Players

D4 (4)
#1- Mustard Tigers
#2- Action Squad
#3- Bandits
#4- Spartans

D5 (5)
#1- Dart Throwers and Smokers
#2- Phoenix
#3- Slicks
#4- Pick 6ers
#5- Jungle Squad

Women’s (1)
#1- Drama Queen

As you can see, I made a few changes to my rankings and all those changes needed to happen. If you expect to see your team up on my list, then you better win some games and eventually I’ll take notice and maybe add your team—but until then these are my rankings.

Final Thoughts


I was looking at the weather for this upcoming weekend and let’s hope that we don’t get any rain—it’s calling for a little, but who knows what it will be like by Saturday.

All this rain made me think about what’s best to use while at the fields to stay dry. We all know and love Mike for all the whizzbangery he brings to the field to fight against the weather. This past week I tried using a tarp and it worked, but I needed to get a second pole for it to work great.

When I told Jon about my idea, he laughed in my face—especially when I told him the entire thing cost me $12 compared to at least $100. And mine will hold up to the wind, and if it doesn’t—well it’ll be $5 to replace it. So, let’s see who’s giggling after this weekend, Jon. (ed’s note: I’m always giggling though. I’m a giggler!) Looks like you get your chance to see it on Saturday when you play at Arthur Therrien. Just don’t be surprised when you show up to see a shirtless guy sitting under the tarp and remember—it was a bad idea, until you want to come under it.

Ok folks, have a great rest of the week, see you Saturday, and before you go remember: we’re playing a game, so go have fun and try not to bonk anyone! (ed’s note: I question ChatGPT replacing “kill” with “bonk” here. Somehow makes it worse…)

Word from the Mouth: Magic Grass! edition

Word from the Mouth: Magic Grass! edition

Kevin Kousaie

Hope you're all having a great week up to now, because your week is about to get a whole lot better now that you're reading this article. This week was some crumply weather and even worse field conditions. I was lucky enough to play at 9 so it hadn't started raining yet so conditions were decent but if you played at 430 and aren't named Jon you played in the mud. I won’t call Jon out anymore for his decision, which I didn’t support or participate in but if you know you know and if you don’t guess you should stick around and see what happens when you’re not around. I mean it was so bad you couldn't see the bags on the field. I'm just glad that we didn't use the new field this week or that would be done for the season.

 

Recap

 

D1

 

I missed both of these games and didn't get any feedback from anyone, so I'll leave it to Terry and the man that controls not only the league but the weather as well Willie.

 

D2

 

Phoenix vs Nice TDs (7-46)

What do I say about this game that won't hurt anyone's feelings or do I do it and since we're all grownups. Phoenix was coming in hot sitting at 2-0 playing a Nice TDs at 0-2. Did we overlook them? No. Did we come out flat and not being focused? Yes. Did we run bad routes? Of course, without a doubt we did. When you poke the bear before the game you better have a cage to trap him in. Andrew went off for 107 yards on 4 catches with 3 TDs. Guess the cage was 70 yards by 25 yards. Nice TDs came out hungry with nothing to lose and mopped the floor with us in every aspect of the game. Are they 39 points better than us? No fudging way but in this game, they showed why they are a dangerous team and need to be taken seriously. Guillaume next you need a lift to the field get it from someone on a team you were going to embarrass once the whistle blows.

 

D3

 

Trench Babies vs Nomads

This game was stopped due to lighting then because of the torrential downpour and it didn't help that everyone but Devin left. Not 100% sure what is going to happen with these games, but at no point were any of the teams told to go home and games were canceled. The league will be in discussion on what will happen.

 

Drama Club vs Witching Hour (26-19)

This game was closer than it expected it to be I was expecting to see Witching Hour trample Drama Club, then the game started. Simon has been around the block a few times now he is the block that can still move when needed. Once Simon figured out how to grip that Brady ball he got things going. After scoring with 3 minutes left Drama Club was up 2 scores and control of the game. Then Witching Hour turned it on and was able to punch it in to make it a 5-point game going into half. Drama Club started the second half with the ball and Simon took his time dinking all the way down for the score to regain the 2 score lead. Witching Hour got the ball back with just over 2 minutes left and took less than a minute to score and left their chances of winning on their defense. You get Simon vs a good and athletic defense for the win. Drama gets a first down game is over if Witching Hour gets the stop they still need to score and get the convert just to tie it up. First play of the series Simon takes off for 7 and at this point it know he is going short for the first and have the game ended, and that's what he did.

 

Witching Hour vs Iron Trollers (14-13) OT

After Jon using his power and authority to do what he did, this game was played on grass and not mud. With a snap of his fingers the grass grew, and he was granted firm footing to play on. This was a game of two halves in the first it was controlled by Iron Trollers on offense and them making a play on defense to keep it a shutout before half. Second half and Witching Hour were able to build on the momentum they got moving the ball into the redzone before the half ended and were able to open the second half with a long scoring drive. This game went to OT and might still be going on if Frederick had made the tackle when Tristan caught the ball instead missing it and then he scored for the win.

 

D4

 

Sorry folks I missed you this weekend, maybe this weekend I'll pop in catch a game or two just so I have something other than this to write here.

 

D5

 

The game I was supposed to ref was forfeited by one of the teams, so I didn't have a game to cover. I was able to catch the second half of the Wolverines vs Mimosa Crew. When I got to this game the score was 18-0 and it wasn't very close from what was being said on the bench. Nicolas opened the half with a deep pass to Hugo who ran it in front 10 yards out after securing the catch. This made it 18-6 and gave hope to the Wolverines. They were not able to do much after that, but neither was Mimosa Crew who are without their QB Curren, for the remainder of the season so Justin has to learn the position as the season goes on.

 

Women's

 

I didn't catch this one and only game this weekend sorry.

 

That's all I have in the way of recaps. I'm sure you need more so look for Terry and Willie on MFL Total access on Wednesday.

 

Studs & Duds

 

Well, it was a wet and slippery one on Saturday and that means lots of missed tackles dropped balls and getting dirty. Even with all that to deal with some of you still managed to ball out and now it's time to see if you did enough to crack my list.

 

Studs

 

D1

- Brady Ohanessian for throwing 5 TDs and over 20p yards as a QB, then also getting 3 picks in defense.

 

D2

- David Brisson and his 8 TD passes.

 

D3

- Benjamin Desroches for hauling in 2 TDs as well as 2 picks.

 

D4

- Thomas Znoj for his triumphant return plus scoring 3 TDs on 4 catches helps.

 

D5

- Yianni Mitsianis 3 TDs and 3 sacks.

 

Women's

- Kayla Gauthier 3 TDs and 4 picks

 

Duds

 

D1

- William Bradford because of the 4 picks he threw.

 

D2

- Phoenix and their defense for showing up to play but not actually playing.

 

D3

- Tropic Thunder for going 0-2 against teams they should be able to beat.

 

D4

- Ghislain Leduc threw 3 picks and only had 3 competitions for 18 yards.

 

D5

- Gabriel Darveau 7 picks thrown to just 8 completions.

 

Women's

- I'm going to leave this blank because I think putting Jon's name here is wrong. (ed’s note: my girlfriend keeps saying I’m a pretty girl. I don’t care for where things seem to be going for me…)

 

There you have it's folks, my Studs and Duds from week 3. You still have plenty of time to make my list 9 weeks to be exact so keep doing what you do and if you're lucky enough you might crack my list and if not at least you had fun trying and better luck next time.

Leagues
Montreal Flag Football League
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Laval
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